I’ve got it.
Holding grudges is like trying to remember your 1-month-worth-of-food grocery list by hard… It’s simply exhausting.
Your head is stuffed with a billion and a half things you need to do already… and now you need to remember that someone hurt your feelings?
I kid you not, at some point, this was my stream of thought:
Ok, I need to proofread this piece, then write this email, then post this on Twitter, then talk to this person about that thing, then panic about my visa expiring, then have a coffee… what else?.. Right, almost forgot that that person hurt my feelings… I should probably write that down…
No joke. I actually considered writing that down. Like actively putting that grudge on a piece of paper as a bullet point, so that I don’t have to worry that I will forget about it. It made sense, because in case I needed a reminder, I could always look at the pesky sticky note and relive the grudge all over again…
And then it dawned upon me. My self-diagnosed dementia can finally be of help. If I don’t make space for a bad incident (in my head and especially on a sticky note), it will eventually fade away.
I realize that I’m either making a mountain out of a molehill, or conversely, oversimplifying and making this post seem like a page out of a 13-year-old’s diary, but these things tend to happen. When I have an epiphany, even as small as this one, for me it signifies personal growth and I need to put it on paper. So if you’ve come to this point, I’m sorry, but those 3 minutes of reading are not coming back.
These may be baby steps, but hey… We’re all just trying to figure shit out, aren’t we?
It also felt like I needed to cough up at least something on paper… A 3-month blogging dry spell will do that to a person.