I Call Bullshit! Tales of a Hypocrite | Entry Two

You know what sucks balls sometimes? Being a woman. And by sometimes, I mean once a month. Yeah, yeah, ‘that’ time of month. You got it.

I’m talking about my body once again acknowledging the fact that I am not planning on becoming a mother any time soon and, subsequently, punishing me for it with mood swings, uncontrollable chocolate cravings and a general ‘don’t touch me, or talk to me, or look at me’ mood.

smile-blueivy-betches-wordpress-postcurfew-bewonderments-february-12-2016

Source: @betches

As this is a ‘tales of a hypocrite’ long-awaited, *coughs*, sequel, I will hereby call myself out on yet another hypocritical thought I’ve had recently.

I used to laugh at those women who considered PMS a good excuse to be moody and irrational. And now, as I sit in the office, clenching my jaw, trying to suppress my mind-numbing anger towards everyone and everything around me, while throwing back chocolates like it’s nobody’s business, I am here to declare: PMS is real. It’s a thing, it’s real and damn right it’s gonna be my excuse, because I’m normally a very nice person.

nicki-minaj-eyeroll-yeahright-wordpress-postcurfew-bewonderments-february-12-2016

Right…

I never really had issues with PMS before. Scratch that. I full on didn’t have it and didn’t even know what the word ‘cramps’ meant. Hashtag blessed, am I right ladies?

It’s a different story nowadays though. I guess that, as I get older, my body is becoming even more impatient with the fact that I’m not growing humans inside me, so it reacts accordingly. Thanks, biological clock.

no-thanks-giphy-wordpress-postcurfew-bewonderments-february-12-2016

Thanks, but no thanks.

Body, don’t you get it? You’re taking me on a downward spiral. How will eating chocolates and gaining back those pesky pounds, not to mention acting like a notorious bitch, help me find a potential mate? How, I ask you??? You’re not making this any easier…

So yeah, I’m a hypocrite, because as I discovered PMS (or rather, as it discovered me), I also started using it to my advantage. I’m sorry, feminists of the world, but our hormones aren’t doing us any favors.

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One Response to I Call Bullshit! Tales of a Hypocrite | Entry Two

  1. onlybadchi says:

    WE ARE SO ON THE SAME PAGE. AMEN!! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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