Lately I’ve been feeling incredibly cocky. Quick side note: I just found out that a synonym for ‘cocky’ is ‘cocksure’… Yes, I am 5 years old. Ignore me.
But no. I’ve been feeling all shades of confident: empowered and nervy, yet kinda bitchy and too outspoken to be still considered a sane person. I have mixed feelings about this. I sorta love it, but I also have to constantly ground myself in fear of sounding or acting or looking like a self-absorbed bitch.
All this struggle is fairly new to me. Just three months ago I was drowning in a pool of tears, eating my weight in virtually everything, while hiding under the covers, avoiding human contact. And this went on for quite a while. Now, I not only feel my best, but I’ve also decided to chip in with my 5 cents on the matter.
I realize that in order to give advice on such a sensitive topic, one has to be mindful of other sufferers’ experiences with it. I am by no means qualified to give advice and obviously I can’t know the severity of your situation. Nonetheless, I’ve been doing some reflecting on what were the exact activities I partook in (not necessarily consciously) that eventually made me turn a new leaf. As these things usually go, if reading this helps at least one person, I am happy.
So, finally: these are the 5 things I recommend you do if you’ve been feeling particularly low lately.
#1 Talk to your friends. A lot.
Before you do that, make sure you have people in your life who you like, whose opinion you trust and who make you feel like a better person. It doesn’t have to be a friend you’ve had for years and years and years. Just talk to a person you’re comfortable with, who relates, who is easy to vibe with. Talk and make jokes. Laugh and cry. Pour your soul into this person. Connect.
Trust me, if you’re lucky to have found a friend like this, the ride will be a hell of a lot smoother.
#2 Self-reflect. A lot.
I know that when you’re at your lowest point, turning within may seem like a horrible idea. However, you know yourself best. You are the only one who knows what’s going on in reality. At times like these, you have to become your own therapist. Ask yourself the right questions and be critical: What is causing me to feel this way? Am I a victim of circumstances or am I bringing this on myself? Am I willing and strong enough to turn things around? This kind of self-questioning is a bitch, but it is also the most eye-opening thing you will do for yourself.
Get angry at the demon. Do not surrender to it. You are willful and strong. You can shoo it away just like that.
#3 Check your health.
Depression may seem like an abstract illness. I know it was to me until a certain point. I didn’t have health issues, so I didn’t feel like consulting a doctor for ‘feeling like I don’t wanna get out of bed in the morning”. In reality though, your body may be experiencing everything, starting from burnout and stress to hormone failures, which subsequently may be causing depression.
In my case, I had my thyroid gland checked and was told that, I quote, ‘it’s been sleeping’. I believe that is the medical term my physician used…
So do me a favor and go get a medical check. Your body may have had the answers all this time.
#4 Get a personal trainer.
I hate myself for saying this, but staying active WILL HELP YOU. It doesn’t have to be crazy. Just sign up for a gym and break a sweat 3 times a week. I still hate the whole ‘waking up at 6 am to go the gym’ part and I still don’t trust people who genuinely enjoy working out, but I do love the results.
At this point I would like to thank my step-dad who literally dragged my ass to do #3 and #4. This had a huge impact on my overall well-being. Love you, dad.
#5 Watch Rupaul’s Drag Race. Forever.
If you are unfamiliar with the magic that is drag queens competing for the ‘America’s Next Drag Superstar’ title, I am truly puzzled and insist that you drop everything and go watch the show now. All 7 seasons, plus ‘Untucked’ and ‘Allstars’. Check it out, watch it, die laughing, obsess over it, tell your friends, re-watch it several times more and thank me later.
I swear, if such majestic creatures, like drag queens, can’t teach you to love life, yourself and everyone around, I don’t know who can.
Can I get an amen?
If you want to know how depression made me feel at some point and how I managed to kick the bitch in the ass, please read: