I think a bird sassed me today.
I was prancing down the street (yes, I actually used the word “prancing” because I was jogging way too ridiculously to call it jogging), when I saw a couple of birds on the lawn. They were these common black birds with yellow beaks that I often see in Hamburg not flying, as peculiar as it is, but scurrying in the bushes, like rats. They got so used to people, they didn’t even bother to fly (or scurry) away at the sight of me. In fact, one of them, LITERALLY scanned me from head to toe, turned to his mate and chirped something in bird language AND, I swear to God, contempt.
I felt outraged. Yes, I looked like a pig that just won the pig derby, but it was my second consecutive run this week, and since I have been jogging on and off for about 4 months, I felt like I was doing progress. Sure, I still had a lot to work on, but at least my face didn’t jiggle like jelly on a plate every time I was jogging. Correction, prancing. P.S. Everything else is still jiggling, but I’m working on it.
Overlooking the bird-sassing moment (which was, most certainly, in my head as usual), I had a really pleasant run. I even went to the nearest woods to “connect with nature” and meditated for a little while. You see, I had yet another epiphany. I finally realized what “taking care of yourself” really means.
When I was little, I used to do ballroom dancing. I danced not because it was good for my figure, or because I was particularly good at it, but because (I covered this topic in my first ever post) it was a major part of who I was back then. I didn’t have to worry about body issues. God, what a lovely stage that was. Since quitting, at the age of 14, I’ve never felt good about myself while doing any kind of sport. Every gym session, every swim, every volleyball game was mostly fueled by guilt and hate towards my own body. My motivation was heavily based on the thought “yet another attempt to bring this piece-of-shit-body back to its normal-ish appearance”.
And finally, it hit me: this is MY BODY. A complex mechanism that helps me live life. I can’t expect it to look and feel good, taking care of it only when my self-esteem hits rock-bottom. I can’t expect it to function properly, when I mostly poison it with chocolate, a sedentary job and binge-watching Orange Is The New Black. And this comes without saying, but how can somebody else possibly love it in this case?
I know I haven’t just discovered physics, but I’m well-known for my delayed epiphanies.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that it’s essential to get in tune with your body. Clearly, I’m not an expert on the subject yet, but at least I started listening to my body. And surprisingly, it responds.
So let me ask you, do you feel your body and mind are in balance? Are you also guilty of being a couch potato? Are you also willing to change it?