Get ouf of your head

Well that was an exhausting day. Never imagined working on a Saturday would be so hard. Shouldn’t have stayed that long at yesterday’s office party. Ok, what to do, what to do?.. It’s a Saturday anyway. Oh, right! Tonight’s my pamper evening. Better go buy a face mask… Maybe call roomie for her to come to the city as well… Hm. She is not picking up. Oh well, by myself then.

Haha alone again? Feeling a bit sad and lonely, aren’t we?

No, not at all. I’ll just walk around the center for a while, maybe do a bit of shopping. Everything’s ok. I’m not sad. The weather is not the best, but hey, this hazel nut macchiato tastes amazing and there’s a street band performing right in front of me.

Sure.. Whatever you say. Oh look, a couple. Don’t they look cute together? I bet you would look just as cute with the French guy from yesterday… Oh right, he told you he had a girlfriend on the…what was it…third minute of your conversation. I bet you looked as if you had a “Love me” sign on your forehead. So desperate…

I wasn’t being desperate. I was simply trying to get to know one of my colleagues. He was just not interested. Maybe he does have a girlfriend so he didn’t want to get in trouble.

Yeah, even though you were “just” talking? People only inform other people about their relationship status if there’s heavy coming on involved. The poor guy was clearly suffocating.

Whatever, I don’t feel lonely. I’m ok by myself.

Uhum, right. I bet your roomie is not picking up because she is still pissed at you. You called her like what, three times?

No, it’s all good. We’re alright. She probably misplaced her cell, or doesn’t hear it ringing.

OMG have you seen that girl’s figure? Didn’t she look fantastic? So slim and beautiful. And that outfit though? I just love those Michael Kors bags, don’t you? And can’t I just say that not many girls can pull off high-wasted shorts. Too bad what you’re doing for your body right now isn’t working and you’re not getting a figure like that any time soon.

Can you please shut up? I WILL get a figure like that. I just need time. It takes more time. Plus, I don’t want her figure. I want the best version of me.

What’s that? I didn’t hear you. Suddenly had an idea to buy a tub of ice-ream with chocolate topping.

No thanks, I don’t do dinners now. Specifically, desserts for dinners. I have discipline. I am in control.

Of course you are, honey. You are doing so well with your running and eating less… Look, another couple. Awww, they look so happy. Isn’t it wonderful, when two completely different individuals, who look perfect btw, find each other?

Yes, it is wonderful.

Too bad that your insecurities are so deeply rooted, you have to battle the desire to slip into depression every day. Look at you, you’re on the train and about to cry. So miserable, aren’t we? No one around. No one to care. People around aren’t even looking at you. You’re so dependable on companionship that the moment you’re alone, I get in your head. I’m in your head. You can’t shut me off. I will always be in your head.

That’s it. Get out of my head!

Get out of your head! Get out! Get out now!

This entry was posted in Depression, Life and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Get ouf of your head

  1. Olya says:

    “No one around. No one to care” – that is not true! Just look around and you will see that some people actually care about you. But if you keep rejecting their support, they give up at some point…


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