To my teenage self

Ok, so do you have any regrets? Of course you do, but is there anything in particular you would tell your teenage self? I’m like this: I try not having regrets, but I would definitely go a few years back and slap myself across the face for some darn stupid things.

#1 The reason why you can eat like a pig and not gain a single pound is solely because you train like a horse- not because you are “built this way” and you have a naturally fast metabolism. As soon as you stop dancing, you will develop those love handles SO fast, that even your grandmother will notice the before-and-after difference. DO NOT STOP DANCING! And if you do, take your still-skinny-at-this-point ass to the gym or some other type of sport if you want to love yourself in the future when you’re 20.

#2 Don’t think the fact that you’re reading Cosmo justifies your intention to give people relationship and sex advice. The people you “consult” are actually doing experimental research; they don’t need your questionable expertise. Stop thinking that you are knowledgeable in this field, because, honey, you’ve got a lot to learn…

#3 FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, stop putting so much foundation on your face like your life depends on it. Your skin needs to breathe! Having skin that doesn’t break out is always a plus.

#4 Just stop with the allegedly punk/emo/alternative clothes. If your girlfriend can work them, it doesn’t necessarily mean you can.

#5 You’ll get your all-night parties. Just stop being a bitch to your mom when she doesn’t allow you to join a questionable group of people and spend the night on the 11th floor of a deserted building. Parents can be so cruel, I know…

#6 Try celery, broccoli, spinach and arugula. They’re all so freaking amazing.

#7 You really are your mother’s daughter. You two share far more traits than a matching eye color and a sometimes-insufferable personality. Stop arguing, put yourself in her shoes. No, she’s not unbelievable. She does understand. Just shut up and be thankful for the amazing parent you have.

#8 Step away from the chocolate ice-cream, woman.

#9 Decide already what you want to become in life. Make an actual decision, dammit. You will have to figure it out sooner or later. Granted, I still have no idea, but I’m really counting on you.

#10 Learn to accept yourself. Please.

On that depressing note…hi!

How you’ve been?

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This entry was posted in Humor, Humour and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to To my teenage self

  1. bloodhound says:

    So now i have an insight of what things go on in a girls’ mind. 😛
    Apart from it, a good write this one..

    Like

  2. i had to laugh at a few of those..i’m certainly on par with a majority of those! 😀

    Like

  3. whenwemumble says:

    Hindsight is crazy! If only our teenager selves knew better.

    Like

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